It’s been weird. I think that about covers it.
I WAS eating an extremely fatty high protein diet for just a few weeks in an effort to snap me out of my bad carb, high sugar eating habits and to get me losing again. It worked. It also stirred up my MS for the first time in about a year-big time.
I’ve been struggling for about a month as problems come and go and come back again. I started out on the right track, eliminating sugar and grains but as things got worse and worse I finally did some more research and found the MS Recovery Diet and have found it necessary to stay strictly on the program. I’m seeing big improvements already, especially in my vision, which is once again clear and sharp. It’s a diet I must stay on for the rest of my life and it may take up to a year to see big improvements as my brain and nervous system will take time to heal.
The diet requires I severely restrict saturated fat to less than 15 grams per day as saturated fat is the devil in the MS world. You know, I have the books on how to eat for MS, but I always thought those chapters were not really necessary. Uh, surprise, they are.
On Sunday I inadvertently ate 20 grams of saturated fat by throwing in 1 T of coconut oil with has a whopping 12 grams of saturated fat per tablespoon. Yes, I know it’s a great fat. But it’s not good for me. I didn’t really understand the extent to how sensitive my body is becoming until I woke up the next day incredibly sick and unable to get out of bed.
It’s Thursday now and I finally feel about at about 80%. And I’m so glad. And I learned my lesson. In staying on this diet, which is MORE than proven to work, I’ll see major improvements but it may take time. But it may not be as hard as it initially sounds. Trust me, when something like a piece of chocolate can make you feel like you have the flu x 10 for 4 days in a row, you no longer desire it.
So the good news is I finally am doing the totally right thing. No eggs, no legumes including peanut butter, no oats, no soy, no chocolate or carob, no dairy, no alcohol, no grains, no rice, no potatoes, no red meat, lots of fish, shrimp, veggies and berries and healthy oils.
I’m down to 199 again. That’s super good news.
The “bad” news, and I know you’ll want to punch me in the face for this, is that it’s pretty easy to lose weight because I simply don’t want to eat. I have no desire. It’s just gone. So yay for cutting bad sugary carbs out of my diet, but hey, there is no longer any signal for me to want to eat. And you know, the food tastes great, I love it, but I just don’t have any desire. I probably said this in my last post, but now it’s really noticeable.
I’ve lived my life longing for foods, thinking about them, loving them, crafting them. Now food is just food. Eh. Food. Just the stuff you have to eat to stay alive. That’s not sexy. That’s….boring. No drama. I’m not quite sure what to do with that mindset because it’s so new.
But the real problem is that I’m having a seriously hard time getting in enough calories. When you’re eating lean protein and several cups of vegetables at each meal, it fills you up. You CAN’T eat more food. And while that sounds fantastic, the downside is that those vegetables and protein may add up to 300 calories per meal, if you’re lucky. 300 x 3 meals a day equals seriously under-eating. Not healthy. Bad.
I struggle every day to at least hit 1200 calories because it’s incrediblyimportant to at least eat that amount or your body starts eating it’s own muscle and all that jazz. I count every calorie. I try to eat as many allowable nuts per day as I can without having too much saturated fat because that bumps up the calories without pushing the saturated fat over the limit.
I’m working on it. It’s very easy to get the calories you need when you can just add butter, cream, grains, but I can’t. Later, I can try quinoa and millet. It would be grand if they work for me. Thus far, those sorts of foods that “should” work, don’t. But maybe they will. And so I’m a little terrified of food right now, because I’m not a fan of becoming deathly ill just to attempt eating an item. And I need to get better before I can start trying things. Every item I can add to my list is a huge triumph.
I hate talking about this crap. I hate even acknowledging that I have Crohns and MS. But I do, and the body reactions to the food allergies created by Chrohns then attack my body in the form of MS as thingies pass through the blood/brain barrier which it’s not supposed to be able to do. But that stupid MS has found a way to make that possible. A vicious cycle.
And I press on anyway. And if that’s not courage, I don’t know what is. And it’s an honest part of my weight loss experience so I’m gong to talk about it.
Today I went for a run. I’m so so so so grateful. No one appreciates running like I do. No one.
I’m learning to be moderate and I’m so proud of me. I was not able to start my C25K week 2 on Monday, but I decided there was no shame in that, I’m on no timetable. I waited until I felt better and then today I did day 1 of week 2.
I was so slow. My normal slow walk is 3 minutes faster than I ran/walked my 30 minutes today. And that’s OK, because next week it’ll be better.
I’m learning that it’s a great boost to my body to go out and exercise as soon as I feel better, not to wait and worry that it’ll make me feel worse. That almost never happens. And it’s OK if I only get 2 days in of my C25K program this week, because holy cow, I can do day 3 on Monday. The running police aren’t going to come and take away my running shoes.
I’m thankful. I’m thankful that I’m so stubborn that I refuse to be a “sick person”. I’m thankful that I believe in being in charge of my own destiny and that I believe in the power of natural healing and in food being your best medicine. I believe it’s the reason why my MS has never much advanced over the past 7 years or so, because I took responsibility for my own heath.
I screwed up. I ate very badly and ignored my reality and hurt myself. I learned. I changed directions. You can too. It’s so great that every day we have a choice to start over.
So I’m losing weight, a LOT of weight. Too fast, I know, but I don’t know what I could do about that. I’m trying to eat super healthy and take vitamins. If you have any advice I’d love to hear it, for real.
Perhaps I’m silly to worry. Maybe yes, I will drop to 145 without effort. Maybe I won’t starve to death. Maybe my body will adapt to the lower calorie intake? Do you think that’s what will happen? I’d like to think that’s true. Maybe in a month or two I’ll be able to add in something that could provide some more caloric bulk to my diet. Maybe I worry too much. Again, any wisdom or advice would be helpful.