Back to my old weight :)

I really don’t like blogging anymore. So I’ll call this an “update”. Maybe I’ll update every few months.

I’m back at 189! It took me about 7 months to lose what in the end was a 27 pound gain. Eep!

It’s quite easy at this point. So many foods make me sick that I have a very parred down, totally yummy diet that I LOVE but that is pretty much neigh to impossible to gain on. My weight usually fluctuates by 2-4 ounces a day anymore.

Wild rice, rice, brown rice
Veggies
Ghee (butter boiled down with all of the mild products strained off)
Nuts
Fruit
Almond and brown rice flour
Chicken, turkey, fish
Spices-lots
Herbal tea

I make weird looking biscuits with almond flour/rice flour blend and nutritional yeast. I throw in sunflower seeds and I think they are to die for. I make cookies with the same flour mix and sweeten them with raisins, soaked and ground dates and a soft banana. Add lots of cinnamon and I think they’re great. They are way too soft so I keep them in the freezer and pull them out when I want one.

My exercise is very moderate. I do yoga a few times a week, maybe 20-30 minutes each, I walk about 40-60 minutes every single day and lately have started a run/walk program 2-3 days a week, taking it real easy as too much running exacerbates the MS. I run no more than 20-30 minutes at a time, with a lot of walk breaks. Maybe that will improve over time, but if it doesn’t, I’m ok with that. I like to bike when we are at our Michigan apartment. We live by miles of trails there. In finding out what foods make me sick, ie, cause the MS to flare up, I have been super healthy for a long time.

The things I cannot eat:
legumes including soy products
Dairy
Eggs
Any gluten so no flours, no hot cereals. Oats are ok every great once in awhile.
Potatoes—except for one tiny one, and only once a week.
No caffeine in any form: no tea, no coffee, no diet soda
No processed foods of any kind
Sugar in any form
Fake sweeteners of any kind

I’m enjoying eating more than I ever have. I LOVE sitting down to eat and my sense of taste is really fine tuned.

I never think about my weight. My “issues” with the scale are completely gone. And now I get that it was actually an issue with the food, as in, “How much eating can I get away with”? When the scale never changes but to go down, very slowly but consistently, the scale loses it’s power. I can’t eat ice cream and cake and then fearfully step on the scale to see the damage. Plus, I’d be very sick in bed for 2 days so there is most definitely that.

It’s very odd to know that I now weigh 14 pounds more than the day I got married 31 years ago, after being at close to 300 pounds for so many, many years. Now I know I’ll get down into the 170′s, probably the 160′s or 150′s. I’m not trying to achieve anything. I’m going to just let my body settle where it wants to. If I never lost another ounce I’d be fine with where I am now too.

My peace of mind and calm spirit is just mind-blowing to me. Getting off of sugar, grains and caffeine has made me an entirely different person. Or I guess it has showed me as the person I really am. I am rarelyrocked by life, I take it in stride. I don’t feel bursts of anger or frustration very often, don’t worry much at all. I feel quite zen almost all of the time. I am still major active in all I do in life, but the frantic state is gone now. I can’t even remember what that was like. I’m no longer drugged up by things that were killing me.

Later I’ll post another picture, when I reach the 100 pound loss mark at 183. I don’t know when that will be.

My husband got a major promotion and is up for another, which will bring him to the very top of his career. He loves his job and won’t retire next year when he turns 55 as we have planned. He’ll stay on a few more years. We have an apt in Michigan that his company pays for and have recently moved back to WA near my family and his work and live in a sweet apartment here. We are so happy with our small town life. We walk everywhere.

I’m now in the process of studying to take both the New Mexico and the Washington state realtor state exams at pretty much the same time. I intend to work here in Washington state where I used to sell houses, and when we move back to our house in Albuquerque (rented out now) in a few years, I will go back to the Coldwell Banker I loved and worked at while living there. So I’m in a major transition phase and am loving life and the challenge of developing myself and stepping back into a career I truly love. I adore business and I do it very well. It suits my “achievement gene”.

Best wishes to everyone. I’ll update in a few months

Wrapping this blog up

I’m moving on from my weight loss blog.

I’ll be working on a new, more holistically minded blog that better reflects who I have become. If you’d like to keep up with me in general, please friend me on Facebook. It’s been an adventure.

I look forward this summer to sharing on Facebook that I’ve reached the 100 pound weight loss.

I wish you happy eating.

 

Yoga and Running

I’m down to 196 today, 7 pounds from my lowest weight of 189. I’m looking forward to dropping into the 170′s someday. I’m totally managing around 1400-1500 calories or so. Having a smoothie with just strawberries and lots of fresh spinach isn’t actually disgusting and I can get in lots of veggies that way too, so I’ve added that in.

I finished Week 2 of my Couch to 5K program. Woo hoo!

I am doing yoga 7 days a week and am running 2-3 days per week.  2 may be my optimum limit but we’ll see. Yoga comes first now. It’s such a life-changing exercise. I love, love, love my runs, but I get now how important it is to save my energies for that thing which will increase my life span, reduce my stress and keep me flexible. It’s a good thing.The 20-30 minute runs are a wonderful bonus and over time, if I settled into just 2 days a week, I may find I can do 45-60 minutes per run. I’m just happy to be running.

In June or July I take level 1 of the Yoga Fit training! It’s the first of 5 levels I’ll need to go through to get my 200 hour certification. I’m getting smart now; I mapped out where all of the level 1 classes are in each of the states we go to so that I don’t lose out on my classes. Thank goodness I can take them in increments because otherwise it couldn’t happen.

My goal is to teach at MS Societies, Senior Centers, Cancer Centers, Plus Sized classes or basic, beginner classes.I think that would be soooo wonderful to work with people who truly need help to improve how they move through the day or people who may be afraid to start.

I’m also planning a full-immersion class with a yoga teacher/studio in Colorado that specializes in chair yoga for Seniors, MS or other disabilities. So that will add a much needed level to my training. And then when I teach classes? Hello! I’ll be able to keep up!

Before, I was always worried about how I could possibly keep up in a yoga training class. Screw that. Now I get that it’s my money and MY mission is to teach people like me who are older, slower or disabled. I don’t HAVE to be like 20 years olds in a yoga class, or like lithe, bendy 50 year olds. I’m me. I’m happy with that realization at last.Other people need help too. I’m going to be the person who can guide people like me. There are plenty of teachers or the harder core stuff.

I’ll be back here on the blog in about 10 days or so. I leave for New Mexico soon and then will be doing the cross country move, so I won’t be settled and ready to chat until sometime after the 23rd of April.

My husband is up for a promotion at work that came on quite suddenly, we hadn’t expected it for months. It may affect our living situation AGAIN. He may end up having to work a lot of out Seattle and I can’t live here. (The MS Society is doing a study right now of why so many people from Washington state have MS. Hmm. Too little, too late. But good for them.)

So we may end up in Michigan for only 6 months and then I may move to Albuquerque and take a studio apartment there instead of living out at the property with no internet, no creature comforts, no family. I actually end up spending $400 a month on gas when I’m there. A nice studio in Albuquerque is $400 so it’s a good deal and we won’t end up losing any more $ than if I were out at the 5 acres. So if we have to move again, it will be to move me there until the renters vacate our house in Abq in 19 months. And I’ll then return back to flying to WA every 3 weeks to see my hubby.

And yes, it pissed me off seeing as how we’ve just now gotten a new plan in place. I’m very happy for my husband , he’s earned all he’s gotten at work. But I need a life too, and so I’m taking it.

I’m taking classes, I’m making plans and I have a say in where I’ll be and what I’ll do. As long as we can be together about half of each month all is good.

And honestly, I miss Albuquerque, so if it ends up going that way by the fall, that’s OK with me.

Have a great week everyone. I’ll be back soon.

Please, if you don’t already, follow me on Facebook. I always post there. And send me a note letting me know you know me from my blog or I might ruthlessly delete you when I’m doing housekeeping.

I

Got my Second Run In

Great run today! I’m feeling stronger every day. I did just 1.67 miles but that completed at least day 2 of week 2 of my Couch to 5k program. I hope to get in another day tomorrow so I can slip in all 3 days on the calender this week, but that may not happen.

Tomorrow I’m going to Tacoma Habitat For Humanity to work with the hubby. He’s gone every Saturday for months, this is my first time. I’m excited and I don’t want to be pooped, so I’m not sure I’ll run in the morning. Nevertheless, I’m happy with what I achieved run-wise on what was actually a sucky week.

I am running 1 minute, walking 30 seconds. That works great for me. I’m happy with it. I love to listen to the “The Extra Mile” podcasts when I’m out running. Lest anyone think run/walk/run is lame, the people who call in with recorded message to the podcast are marathon runners (and other races) from around the world. Some of them do back-to-back marathons doing the Galloway run thing. They inspire me. I don’t feel like a wuss. It cracks me up that “real runners” get their panties in a twist about us “poser runners” who walk. I’d rather use my energy enjoying life, not keeping score about who I’m better than and exactly why I’m better than them.

I’m eating more calories! I made it to 1600 calories yesterday. I’m happy with that. I was stuffed, but I’ll get used to it over time. I’m not as worried now. I guess I’ll figure it out.

I’m at 198.3 today. I’m just 4.3 pounds away from my old “5 pound safety range” and then another 5 from 189, the least I’ve weight since I started all this jazz. Kind of exciting. 

I’m not quite sure how to be interesting, charming and FUN on this blog. I’m pretty boring. I see that some people become so popular they start making videos, selling books and soon their blogs are covered with business ads, and every other picture they post is them holding a product that “they just ate”.

I wonder how they came to that place? For me, it ruins the experience. For them it’s a nice job and I have to give them cudos for that. I get so sick of hearing myself talk that I’m pretty sure that no one is going to hand me money and say, “Hey, post about these processed products in a cute package.”

Writing a blog is weirdly narcissistic. I probably say that every 6 months, don’t I? I suppose in the end, I feel that if I totally abandon my blog that I’ll never finish losing the weight or maybe I’ll gain it all back. Which is not true. I’m mean, the blog isn’t why I change my habits, why I exercise. 

My battery is dying and I need to plug in the olde computer. Have a great weekend everyone.

Losing and Running

It’s been weird. I think that about covers it.

I WAS eating an extremely fatty high protein diet for just a few weeks in an effort to snap me out of my bad carb, high sugar eating habits and to get me losing again. It worked. It also stirred up my MS for the first time in about a year-big time.

I’ve been struggling for about a month as problems come and go and come back again. I started out on the right track, eliminating sugar and grains but as things got worse and worse I finally did some more research and found the MS Recovery Diet and have found it necessary to stay strictly on the program. I’m seeing big improvements already, especially in my vision, which is once again clear and sharp. It’s a diet I must stay on for the rest of my life and it may take up to a year to see big improvements as my brain and nervous system will take time to heal.

The diet requires I severely restrict saturated fat to less than 15 grams per day as saturated fat is the devil in the MS world. You know, I have the books on how to eat for MS, but I always thought those chapters were not really necessary. Uh, surprise, they are.

On Sunday I inadvertently ate 20 grams of saturated fat by throwing in 1 T of coconut oil with has a whopping 12 grams of saturated fat per tablespoon. Yes, I know it’s a great fat. But it’s not good for me. I didn’t really understand the extent to how sensitive my body is becoming until I woke up the next day incredibly sick and unable to get out of bed.

It’s Thursday now and I finally feel about at about 80%. And I’m so glad. And I learned my lesson. In staying on this diet, which is MORE than proven to work, I’ll see major improvements but it may take time. But it may not be as hard as it initially sounds. Trust me, when something like a piece of chocolate can make you feel like you have the flu x 10 for 4 days in a row, you no longer desire it.

So the good news is I finally am doing the totally right thing. No eggs, no legumes including peanut butter, no oats, no soy, no chocolate or carob, no dairy, no alcohol, no grains, no rice, no potatoes, no red meat, lots of fish, shrimp, veggies and berries and healthy oils.

I’m down to 199 again. That’s super good news.

The “bad” news, and I know you’ll want to punch me in the face for this, is that it’s pretty easy to lose weight because I simply don’t want to eat. I have no desire. It’s just gone. So yay for cutting bad sugary carbs out of my diet, but hey, there is no longer any signal for me to want to eat. And you know, the food tastes great, I love it, but I just don’t have any desire. I probably said this in my last post, but now it’s really noticeable.

I’ve lived my life longing for foods, thinking about them, loving them, crafting them. Now food is just food. Eh. Food. Just the stuff you have to eat to stay alive. That’s not sexy. That’s….boring. No drama. I’m not quite sure what to do with that mindset because it’s so new.

But the real problem is that I’m having a seriously hard time getting in enough calories. When you’re eating lean protein and several cups of vegetables at each meal, it fills you up. You CAN’T eat more food. And while that sounds fantastic, the downside is that those vegetables and protein may add up to 300 calories per meal, if you’re lucky. 300 x 3 meals a day equals seriously under-eating. Not healthy. Bad.

I struggle every day to at least hit 1200 calories because it’s incrediblyimportant to at least eat that amount or your body starts eating it’s own muscle and all that jazz. I count every calorie. I try to eat as many allowable nuts per day as I can without having too much saturated fat because that bumps up the calories without pushing the saturated fat over the limit.

I worry.

I’m working on it. It’s very easy to get the calories you need when you can just add butter, cream, grains, but I can’t. Later, I can try quinoa and millet. It would be grand if they work for me. Thus far, those sorts of foods that “should” work, don’t. But maybe they will. And so I’m a little terrified of food right now, because I’m not a fan of becoming deathly ill just to attempt eating an item. And I need to get better before I can start trying things. Every item I can add to my list is a huge triumph.

I hate talking about this crap. I hate even acknowledging that I have Crohns and MS. But I do, and the body reactions to the food allergies created by Chrohns then attack my body in the form of MS as thingies pass through the blood/brain barrier which it’s not supposed to be able to do. But that stupid MS has found a way to make that possible. A vicious cycle.

And I press on anyway. And if that’s not courage, I don’t know what is. And it’s an honest part of my weight loss experience so I’m gong to talk about it.

Today I went for a run. I’m so so so so grateful. No one appreciates running like I do. No one.

I’m learning to be moderate and I’m so proud of me. I was not able to start my C25K week 2 on Monday, but I decided there was no shame in that, I’m on no timetable. I waited until I felt better and then today I did day 1 of week 2.

I was so slow. My normal slow walk is 3 minutes faster than I ran/walked my 30 minutes today. And that’s OK, because next week it’ll be better.

I’m learning that it’s a great boost to my body to go out and exercise as soon as I feel better, not to wait and worry that it’ll make me feel worse. That almost never happens. And it’s OK if I only get 2 days in of my C25K program this week, because holy cow, I can do day 3 on Monday. The running police aren’t going to come and take away my running shoes.

I’m thankful. I’m thankful that I’m so stubborn that I refuse to be a “sick person”. I’m thankful that I believe in being in charge of my own destiny and that I believe in the power of natural healing and in food being your best medicine. I believe it’s the reason why my MS has never much advanced over the past 7 years or so, because I took responsibility for my own heath.

I screwed up. I ate very badly and ignored my reality and hurt myself. I learned. I changed directions. You can too. It’s so great that every day we have a choice to start over.

So I’m losing weight, a LOT of weight. Too fast, I know, but I don’t know what I could do about that. I’m trying to eat super healthy and take vitamins. If you have any advice I’d love to hear it, for real.

Perhaps I’m silly to worry. Maybe yes, I will drop to 145 without effort. Maybe I won’t starve to death. Maybe my body will adapt to the lower calorie intake? Do you think that’s what will happen? I’d like to think that’s true. Maybe in a month or two I’ll be able to add in something that could provide some more caloric bulk to my diet. Maybe I worry too much. Again, any wisdom or advice would be helpful.

 

 

Week 1 Day 2 of Couch to 5K

Robin wrote to tell me she just bought this top that I’m coveting:

But I can’t find it on the site! Robin, will you send me a link?

And Katie J (Awesome name!) wrote to assure me that YES, my idiotic post of yesterday went out to my OTHER blog subscribers, letting everyone and their brother know exactly how much I weigh and how much I covet this running shirt. Oh, the humiliation.

Oh well, I will bounced back, stuff it down and pretend it didn’t happen.

My running is going great. I’m bribing myself. After I finish the whole 8 weeks without doing the same lame thing of deciding to run more, faster, better!! then I get to buy any running skirt I want, no matter how pricey it is. They can be as much as $75. Gulp. So I have to practice moderation and I have to do the runs. I can do it. I want the skirt. This is the first time I’ve ever seen anyone reward themselves for not doing too much. I am exactly that weird.

My hip is hurting a little, but I think that’s because I came from almost 2 weeks of non-activity to running 30 minutes on Monday morning, then walking 3 miles with the hubby that night. It felt much better today so I did my run on the treadmill here at the gym hotel but it’s still a little sore. I’m glad I’m only running 3 days a week. It gives things time to settle down.

I loved my run today though. LOVED it. I used Nike+GPS app because it’s only $2 and you can use it to track your runs on Nike+ without paying through the nose for a Nike+band and shoe chip. Which I own, but have lost.  I lose each piece, one at a time. If I find the bracelet, I can’t find the chip. If I know where the chip is, the bracelet is gone. I’m quite sure I shouldn’t be trusted with equipment that I actually need to keep track of. I usually know where my iphone is, so this works for me.

My favorite part about Nike+ is ONLY that I get to run from color to color. I’m serious. It’s so fun to anticipate the color changing from yellow to green. I think green is next. Once I went all the way to blue. Before I lost my chip the first time. So I’m jazzed about the colors. Like a raccoon with a shiny thing.

Do you ever go back and read your old blog posts? Ugh. I would hate that. I have a pile of about 10 journals so far and I mentioned to my daughter the other day that I might just throw them all out because I never like looking back, so why would I keep them? She made me promise to save them for her until I die (Which made me start anticipating that unhappy event). I said, “Well, you might hate me when you read them, so fair warning.” That probably stopped her heart just for a second. But for some reason she wants them. She’ll read my whining for about 6 pages and then probably put them all in a box in her attic.

Don’t complain to me about food or hunger or anything. I have lost all of my mercy and compassion because I’m using it all up for myself. I can SEE really well today. It has been determined that saturated fat is horribly bad for MS and since my optic nerve is involved and I’m an artist, well, HELLO, I need those eyes. I am being super careful now in my eating, especially as I’m the holder of 2 award-winning autoimmune diseases if you throw in Crohn’s, which is likely to have caused the MS.

So this morning I got up and went for breakfast downstairs. The dining room is filled with items. I could eat NONE of them. I tried oats yesterday and I am one of the unlucky ones who can’t eat them. They ran right through me. So I came back to my room, scratching my head.

I ate the 3 strawberries I had leftover, had a cup of tea and sat down to starve to death.

After 2 hours I was bored with that and hiked to an AGS store which seems to sell to in mass quantities to restaurants and little stores. I bought the only things I could find that I could have. A big old tub of roasted, salted almonds, a big hunk of roasted chicken and a bag of frozen vegetables. So that’s what I’m going to eat for the next few days until I head to Albuquerque. And I’m darn thankful to have that.

I love vegetables and poultry and fish so I guess I’m OK with that. But really? Don’t you feel sorry for me?????????

I mean, seriously. No sugar, no processed foods, no dairy of any kind, no grain, a limited intake of fruit, no oats, no yeast, no legumes so no peanuts or soy, no chocolate. I mean, come on!!!

At this point though, those things get strong reactions within minutes, so I have to just do it now. I wonder if that’s what Nike meant when they said, “Just Do it!” I used to love that mantra. Stupid Nike.

 I lost my little hotel key card so I asked my husband for his today. I said, “I just can’t find mine and I want to go out today.” He looked at the sofa which is COVERED with art supplies and said, “Well, I don’t know why you can’t find it. It’s a veritable ‘where’s Waldo’ over there.”  Let’s just say that wasn’t funny. One darn bit. At all. It’s a good thing he left to go to work because I would have snubbed him all day.

 

*Ok, it wasn’t Katie J who sent me the message about my blog. It was maybe Judy or Robin? Whoever it was, thanks so much for letting me know!

Move is All Set

I love this top and they Lululemon doesn’t sell it anymore. Does anyone know where I can get one? I really want one. REALLY bad.

Ok, so it’s all set. We got the apartment locked up and will move in April 20. We leave Michigan on Friday and Jeff goes to Seattle, I go to Albuquerque for 1 day then fly out to meet him in WA on Saturday. We’ll be there 2 weeks and then fly to New Mexico to pick up my truck and fill it with some furniture, clothes and whatever we can fit in there. Exciting stuff! It will get even more “exciting” if it turns out Jeff can’t get away from work and I have to do it all myself. I’m choosing not to think of that.

I’ve lost 15 pounds of my gained weight, so woo hoo! I’m back down to 203 today after all that water flushed out of my bod, so I’m ready to pick up and go again. I started the Couch to 5K program yesterday and really enjoyed my running time. It’s actually kind of nice not running until Wednesday. 3 days a week might be a good schedule after all.And yesterday evening Jeff and I took a pleasant 3 mile walk. I can’t even remember a time when I hated exercise, but I know that for most of my life I did. Wow, how things change.

I’m re-cutting all dairy and eggs out of my diet, SADLY, because that’s what’s been stirring up the MS. I’m definitely at the point where I need to focus on the strict MS/Crohns diets and eat chicken, fish and veggies

But I can’t say enough how freeing it is to not be eating any processed foods or gluten based foods or sugar, because I have no desire to eat. I don’t sit around thinking about food or longing for any item. It just doesn’t exist in my body anymore. To be freed from that means it’s going to be quite easy to lose weight. With no demons to struggle against, I just eat, am satisfied and then move on with my day and I lose weight.It sort of moves the whole dieting thing to the background, if you will.

Of course it’s a huge pain in the ass to have 9/10′s of all food yanked off my diet, but I like being able to keep my vision and I really love my legs working and also…my colon thanks me. So, I’m going to be a grown-up about it.

But I reserve the right to throw fits about it. Maybe one per day.

I’m looking for a great purse/backpack pattern. I have found a few on Pinterest. Does anyone have any they can recommend I look at?

Oh! If you want an invite to Pinterest, email me at wildmindgirl@gmail.com and I’ll send you one. I love Pinterest but then I’m an artist and for me it’s all about the pretty pictures.

And just to really screw with my mind, I accidentally posted this in my Rancho Manana blog, which is not good. I keep both blogs totally separate because I don’t want certain people to know my weight and my thoughts. Crap. So I marked my Rancho Manana site private since I’m not posting in it anymore anyway. If you have subscribed to it, when you get the email notification of a new post, will you please let me know if you could read the post or if it was effectively deleted?  Oye.