Week 1 Day 2 of Couch to 5K


Robin wrote to tell me she just bought this top that I’m coveting: Image

But I can’t find it on the site! Robin, will you send me a link?

And Katie J (Awesome name!) wrote to assure me that YES, my idiotic post of yesterday went out to my OTHER blog subscribers, letting everyone and their brother know exactly how much I weigh and how much I covet this running shirt. Oh, the humiliation.

Oh well, I will bounced back, stuff it down and pretend it didn’t happen.

My running is going great. I’m bribing myself. After I finish the whole 8 weeks without doing the same lame thing of deciding to run more, faster, better!! then I get to buy any running skirt I want, no matter how pricey it is. They can be as much as $75. Gulp. So I have to practice moderation and I have to do the runs. I can do it. I want the skirt. This is the first time I’ve ever seen anyone reward themselves for not doing too much. I am exactly that weird.

My hip is hurting a little, but I think that’s because I came from almost 2 weeks of non-activity to running 30 minutes on Monday morning, then walking 3 miles with the hubby that night. It felt much better today so I did my run on the treadmill here at the gym hotel but it’s still a little sore. I’m glad I’m only running 3 days a week. It gives things time to settle down.

I loved my run today though. LOVED it. I used Nike+GPS app because it’s only $2 and you can use it to track your runs on Nike+ without paying through the nose for a Nike+band and shoe chip. Which I own, but have lost.  I lose each piece, one at a time. If I find the bracelet, I can’t find the chip. If I know where the chip is, the bracelet is gone. I’m quite sure I shouldn’t be trusted with equipment that I actually need to keep track of. I usually know where my iphone is, so this works for me.

My favorite part about Nike+ is ONLY that I get to run from color to color. I’m serious. It’s so fun to anticipate the color changing from yellow to green. I think green is next. Once I went all the way to blue. Before I lost my chip the first time. So I’m jazzed about the colors. Like a raccoon with a shiny thing.

Do you ever go back and read your old blog posts? Ugh. I would hate that. I have a pile of about 10 journals so far and I mentioned to my daughter the other day that I might just throw them all out because I never like looking back, so why would I keep them? She made me promise to save them for her until I die (Which made me start anticipating that unhappy event). I said, “Well, you might hate me when you read them, so fair warning.” That probably stopped her heart just for a second. But for some reason she wants them. She’ll read my whining for about 6 pages and then probably put them all in a box in her attic.

Don’t complain to me about food or hunger or anything. I have lost all of my mercy and compassion because I’m using it all up for myself. I can SEE really well today. It has been determined that saturated fat is horribly bad for MS and since my optic nerve is involved and I’m an artist, well, HELLO, I need those eyes. I am being super careful now in my eating, especially as I’m the holder of 2 award-winning autoimmune diseases if you throw in Crohn’s, which is likely to have caused the MS.

So this morning I got up and went for breakfast downstairs. The dining room is filled with items. I could eat NONE of them. I tried oats yesterday and I am one of the unlucky ones who can’t eat them. They ran right through me. So I came back to my room, scratching my head.

I ate the 3 strawberries I had leftover, had a cup of tea and sat down to starve to death.

After 2 hours I was bored with that and hiked to an AGS store which seems to sell to in mass quantities to restaurants and little stores. I bought the only things I could find that I could have. A big old tub of roasted, salted almonds, a big hunk of roasted chicken and a bag of frozen vegetables. So that’s what I’m going to eat for the next few days until I head to Albuquerque. And I’m darn thankful to have that.

I love vegetables and poultry and fish so I guess I’m OK with that. But really? Don’t you feel sorry for me?????????

I mean, seriously. No sugar, no processed foods, no dairy of any kind, no grain, a limited intake of fruit, no oats, no yeast, no legumes so no peanuts or soy, no chocolate. I mean, come on!!!

At this point though, those things get strong reactions within minutes, so I have to just do it now. I wonder if that’s what Nike meant when they said, “Just Do it!” I used to love that mantra. Stupid Nike.

 I lost my little hotel key card so I asked my husband for his today. I said, “I just can’t find mine and I want to go out today.” He looked at the sofa which is COVERED with art supplies and said, “Well, I don’t know why you can’t find it. It’s a veritable ‘where’s Waldo’ over there.”  Let’s just say that wasn’t funny. One darn bit. At all. It’s a good thing he left to go to work because I would have snubbed him all day.


*Ok, it wasn’t Katie J who sent me the message about my blog. It was maybe Judy or Robin? Whoever it was, thanks so much for letting me know!

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Move is All Set

I love this top and they Lululemon doesn’t sell it anymore. Does anyone know where I can get one? I really want one. REALLY bad.

Ok, so it’s all set. We got the apartment locked up and will move in April 20. We leave Michigan on Friday and Jeff goes to Seattle, I go to Albuquerque for 1 day then fly out to meet him in WA on Saturday. We’ll be there 2 weeks and then fly to New Mexico to pick up my truck and fill it with some furniture, clothes and whatever we can fit in there. Exciting stuff! It will get even more “exciting” if it turns out Jeff can’t get away from work and I have to do it all myself. I’m choosing not to think of that.

I’ve lost 15 pounds of my gained weight, so woo hoo! I’m back down to 203 today after all that water flushed out of my bod, so I’m ready to pick up and go again. I started the Couch to 5K program yesterday and really enjoyed my running time. It’s actually kind of nice not running until Wednesday. 3 days a week might be a good schedule after all.And yesterday evening Jeff and I took a pleasant 3 mile walk. I can’t even remember a time when I hated exercise, but I know that for most of my life I did. Wow, how things change.

I’m re-cutting all dairy and eggs out of my diet, SADLY, because that’s what’s been stirring up the MS. I’m definitely at the point where I need to focus on the strict MS/Crohns diets and eat chicken, fish and veggies

But I can’t say enough how freeing it is to not be eating any processed foods or gluten based foods or sugar, because I have no desire to eat. I don’t sit around thinking about food or longing for any item. It just doesn’t exist in my body anymore. To be freed from that means it’s going to be quite easy to lose weight. With no demons to struggle against, I just eat, am satisfied and then move on with my day and I lose weight.It sort of moves the whole dieting thing to the background, if you will.

Of course it’s a huge pain in the ass to have 9/10’s of all food yanked off my diet, but I like being able to keep my vision and I really love my legs working and also…my colon thanks me. So, I’m going to be a grown-up about it.

But I reserve the right to throw fits about it. Maybe one per day.

I’m looking for a great purse/backpack pattern. I have found a few on Pinterest. Does anyone have any they can recommend I look at?

Oh! If you want an invite to Pinterest, email me at wildmindgirl@gmail.com and I’ll send you one. I love Pinterest but then I’m an artist and for me it’s all about the pretty pictures.

And just to really screw with my mind, I accidentally posted this in my Rancho Manana blog, which is not good. I keep both blogs totally separate because I don’t want certain people to know my weight and my thoughts. Crap. So I marked my Rancho Manana site private since I’m not posting in it anymore anyway. If you have subscribed to it, when you get the email notification of a new post, will you please let me know if you could read the post or if it was effectively deleted?  Oye.


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Found a Great Apartment


We found a great 2 bedroom apartment in our preferred area yesterday. It’s at the end of the whole complex so no neighbors all around-just on one side. There’s a a nice green field of grass on two sides of the place with a balcony that overlooks a lovely green huge yard.

Jeff is working major overtime so I’ve spent my Saturday alone today. Boo. After he gets done working today we hope to have time to get to the apartment and make it officially ours. And if some other yahoo gets that apartment before we can get back there I’m pretty sure I’m going to kill my husband.

I’m not really patient when it comes to picking places. It bores me. It bores Jeff too. We almost always buy the first or second house we look at and we buy based on if it feels good. I think that’s a nice way to buy. Yes, I said nice, not “stupid”. But this time we looked at 3 and we picked the best one.

What makes it really perfect is that it’s about a 1/2 mile bike ride to two of our favorite biking/running paths. One is 16 miles long, one is 10 miles and they intersect. We couldn’t be happier about that since we spend so much time outside. And it’s only a few blocks from shopping, so we have the best of both worlds, lots of nature and easy access to stores.

I’m feeling really good today after almost 2 weeks of an MS flare-up for the first time in many months, almost a year. It happens often during seasonal changes, so I guess I’m pretty lucky it’s been so long. I’ve spent the past 3 days in bed and today I was able to get up and actually sit on the couch all day! I know, we’re all excited about that. So I feel great even though my weight is up 4 pounds and my rings won’t go on because of all the swelling. That’ll go away in a few days.

I want to run.

I’ve decided I need to start all over again and give it another go BECAUSE I love it so much. I have never ever been moderate about running. One thing I’ve learned in the past 12 months is that I am able to be moderate. I’ve learned how. I’ve never really given running a good balanced chance, I always overdo. I’m going to take it easy the rest of the weekend and then start back on the Couch to 5K program on Monday, sticking to just 3 days a week. NO goals for races, no intention of going further and doing more than that. I’ll give it a try and see if I can make it work out by being more balanced. I really hate to give it up without a fight.

I’m thrilled beyond belief that we’ll be living in a place where we can bike on FLAT paths for miles and miles and miles. I love that I can get to the path on a bike and walk run or bike anytime I want. To me, that’s rich living. I’m so happy I can hardly contain myself. That AND I get to be with my husband? It can’t get better than that.

I haven’t read ‘The Hunger Games’ but friends have invited us to go on Sunday afternoon. I know there’s death a-plenty in it and I away hate movies like that but I do hear good things about it. It sounds pretty horrible on the surface-kids fighting to the death and all but one dying? It’s like my movie hell. Like a modern day Gallipoli.


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Michigan Days


I finished this piece several weeks ago and will post it because I can’t find any pictures of Michigan to post on this new computer. I realized this morning that I haven’t been to Michigan since last May. Wow. That’s a long time. Anyway, I really like this painting. It makes me smile. It’s entitled, “Fool’s Paradise”.

We’ve been searching for an apartment in the bare minutes we have left at the end of the occasional day when Jeff gets home at a reasonable time. The one we wanted was so hideous that I’m surprised we didn’t find hookers and crack whores lounging about in the “model” apartment. Shudder. Next!

We’ve found several places we like and most of them have good fitness centers so I’d get a gym too and I’d love that when it’s snowy out-or really, really, really humid. Unfortunately, all of the apartments we are considering are 2-4 miles from our parks, so I may have to throw my bike in the truck and head to the park that way because many of the apartments don’t have nicely laid out pretty paths heading in that direction. Rather, there are busy, scary roads. I’m not a fan of being run down by drivers.

In Seattle, drivers stop if a person is even NEAR a crosswalk. To not do so would be anathema. You’d be the biggest villain in the world if you didn’t. In Michigan they just won’t stop, period. It’s terrifying. Unless there’s a stop light there, controlling the drivers, they won’t stop. You can be in the middle of an intersection and if they’re going 35 mph they just plow straight for you. A cop told us once that you’re taking your life in your hands here if you try and use the crosswalks. Nice.

Anyway, we’ll find some sort of apartment in the week we have left here. Nothing like flying by the seat of your pants, right? Let’s call it “exciting” instead of “scary”, shall we?

I’m rocking the weight loss thing. No worries there. But here’s something new. I just realized I’m fat! I know, it’s a real shock to me. Last year when I was almost to 199 I kept thinking and saying, “I look fine, I feel great, I don’t see a need to go any lower.” Because I gained some weight and am now getting close to re-visiting the olde 199, I see the bare, naked truth. I’m pretty fat. And actually it just makes me laugh. My perceptions can apparently swing wildly depending on which way I’m coming from. Now I can really see how much fat I have around my middle. I’m not talking about little cute rolls that annoy me. I mean I really see I need to lose more to be healthy. 30 maybe.

I’d say that blows my mind, but frankly, it just makes me tired to think about even fighting against it anymore. Been there, done that. I figure that in 52 weeks, give or take a few weeks, I’ll be down to 160-170 if I just keep on being consistent. So I guess I’ll do that, huh?

I don’t have any major plans anymore. Again, I’m tired of that. It’s all so BIG and DRAMATIC! Eh. I’m just keeping track of my calories and carbs and getting in some daily exercise. We’ll see what happens, right? If nothing else, at least I’ve found the catalyst to get my butt down into the 180’s or 170’s. It no longer feels like I’ll be a skinny minny if I do that. That’s a laugh. I’ll probably still be a little chubby.

The weather is lovely here. I wish I had my pickup and possessions NOW so I’m not stuck in this one place, right around this hotel. In April that will change. I’ll have to figure out how to make “Michigan Lefts” and how to drive the round and rounds without killing a few Michiganites along the way. Michiganders? Whoever they are, I hope I won’t damage any while I’m trying to figure it all out.

I’m considering giving up running. That hurts me to write that, to even think that. But I am considering it. Running really messes with Crohns and it’s just really hard for me to keep up without shaking my guts up. As I mentioned before, I very much want to start biking as well.

I’ve been walking for miles every day for months and lately am doing Leslie Sansone’s “Walk Away the Pounds-2 Mile” DVD.

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Exercise Changes

I forgot to link all of that long post to exercise. So I’ll do another.

The apartment that we’ve picked and hope will work, in Michigan, is just 2 1/2 miles from our favorite giant park. It’s like 16 miles wide, or some crazy amount like that. There’s a giant lake in the middle with a 6 mile loop around it and the apartment building is linked to the park by a 2 1/2 mile trail.

We are loading up our bikes and bringing them to Michigan and I’ll be able to bike to the park, then either bike around the lake and back home again (11 miles) or bike there, lock up my bike and walk the 6 miles or run it. The running part will take a bit to get back to in that if I tried to run 6 miles now I would drop dead.

In Deming, NM it’s very hard to run. It put a serious damper on my favorite exercise. When we wake up in the morning if you decided to go out and run you would be frozen to the bone. It’s been around 35 with high winds every morning for the past 8 weeks. High winds in a running skirt or running pants even? No. Not happening.

So if I wait until it warms up, then it’s almost too warm to run. Such is life in the high desert. Michigan and the Seattle area are ideal running places so I can’t wait to have a lot more options weather-wise.

Plus, biking in Deming? Hah! I tried one time and the sand and constant blowing dust has permanently clogged half of my gears, rendering them unusable. (There’s a bike shop I know of in MI so I’m going to get it fixed.) But Michigan is great for bike riding. I’m excited!

Additionally, I thought, in Deming, OK, too cold to run, too hot to run, no problem, I’ll do yoga dvd’s. Well, no. The cabin is big enough to do workouts in, but I have no heat out there, just a little space heater. It takes about 3 hours to warm up the cabin in the winter and then it’s only to around 60 degrees. Not really comfortable. I found that walking seemed to be the ticket for New Mexico, but I really missed doing other forms of exercise. Again, another bonus for me that we get to be in multiple places.

I bought more of the ‘Walk Away the Pounds’ DVDs and a beginner Cardio by Petra that even my directionally challenged brain can work out. I’m looking forward to playing with those in the hotel room the next 10 days.

We will be on the road to Ohio for a job on Tuesday, all day Tuesday, so I’ll see you back here on Wednesday.

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Lots of gain, lots of loss!


I’ve really been through the wringer the past few months. First, confessions: In attempting to recover from the weight gain I had when I was sick with MRSA for 2 months, I managed to get all the way up to 217 pounds!!! I can’t even tell you how hopeless I felt.

It took me 3 full weeks of just observing myself to see what the heck I was doing wrong and I was doing a LOT wrong. I tried to be nice to me and not despise my fat ass for those 3 weeks so I could start undoing the damage and get back to good habits again.

Oh, first, let me say that I’m down to 203.9 and I’ll tell you what, I am HAPPY WITH THAT!!!! I’m starting to feel like me again.

First, though I truly appreciate all vegans and vegetarians, that will never be me anymore. As much as I do love that food, it’s not good for my body. Way too many carbs, WAY too many and WAY too much gluten for my poor Crohn’s screwed up bowels. So it was a hard shift for me but I started eating meats, butter, dairy and I feel much better. Much better.

I had gotten to the point where I was basically main-lining carbs from the moment I got up until the moment I went to sleep. I was hungry all the time. ALL the time. I was having constant diarrhea as well, because everything I had seemed to involve gluten. As usual, the very thing you’re allergic to is the thing your body craves and drives you to have more and more of. That, and sugar. 

In an effort to gain control, I tried raw food, I tried the Alkaline diet, Vegan, Vegetarian. The weight kept piling on.

Finally, I just decided to begin again and start experimenting slowly, like I did when I weighed 283 pounds. I started walking. Every day I walked 3 miles or a little more. 7 days a week I walked.

I still lost little to no weight because I was eating such a high carb diet. Breads every day, 3 meals a day. Trying hard to limit my fat intake.

Now I think that’s all a load of crap. I re-watched Fat Head and re-read all of the low carb books I could get my hands on. I cut out all of the grain (for now. Maybe later I can have 1/2 c. of brown rice from time to time, my guts will let me know. They speak loudly when they don’t like something!)

I don’t know about you, everyone is different. For me, that crappy, stupid wheat and all of it’s crappy stupid bi-products is a big old mess. I had been so stuck on not eating much fat, not eating meat, not eating cheese, that I was perfectly willing to continue destroying my body with the Crohn’s and MS by filling every cell with the very thing that was hurting me so much. I found out that even eating too much fruit causes me to have serious digestive problems, and at times I was eating up to 10 pieces of fruit a day-just trying to gain control again. Sigh.

For the past 3 weeks I’ve been working at eating a healthy low-carb diet based on vegetables and proteins. For the time being I’m sticking with berries because they seem to introduce less fructose into my system and don’t bother me or my insulin levels if I have 1/2 c.-1c at a time.

For a few days I felt like someone had beat me from head to toe with a big stick as my body rolled off of the sugar and gluten I was living on. I was craving foods like a heroin addict. I’m not kidding. It was really, truly hard. After 2 days of headaches and nausea and sleeplessness and constant tears, I felt great.

I never get hungry. I’ve gone from gaining on 1700 calories a day, to losing 2 pounds a week on 2000-2500 a day. I have no longing for any food—-ever. Period. The addict switch has been turned off.

I’ve been walking for weeks now, not running. But I am getting ready to re-start the Couch to 5K program and I’ll see how that goes.

I have really big, exciting news and it sort of involves my exercise in a round-about way.

You know we have our place out in Deming, where we intend to retire. This year we got the well and electricity in, a camper, cabin and garage. We’re putting in the septic next week. (We won’t be building our small house for a few years.)

Well, we LOVE Michigan too. All of our friends are in Michigan and Seattle. Most of our close friends are in Michigan. Twice we’ve attempted to move there. Well, we’re moving in a few weeks, in the middle of April.

Two reasons: My husband mostly works there. If I keep staying out at our property in NM, we will see each other 14 weeks a year, if we take an apartment in Michigan in addition to our NM property, we can be together 42 weeks a year. Obviously that’s a no-brainer.

In being out at the NM property for 2 full months, along. By myself. Blue as can be, I realized that no way do I want to ever spend that much time away from Jeff again. We’re both like lovesick teenagers at this point. I’m not kidding. We’re utterly pathetic. He simply can’t get away to come home often because he’s required to bounce back and forth between Seattle and Michigan, almost constantly.

We finally realized we could rent an apartment in Michigan for cheaper than the plane tickets we were buying for me each month, and that his company would pay for at least half of it instead of putting him up in a hotel!

Lastly, our neighbors in NM are crack-crazy. I’m not even kidding. NOT KIDDING. We have one set of friends out there who are amazing and who have become great friends. That’s all. The rest are out of their minds. There are only about 12 homes in a 5 miles area around us. 3 of those people have committed suicide in their homes. The other 9 have moved out there because they hate people and want to be alone with their profound nut-job ideas.

Soooo, learning all of that, we have decided to split our time between 2 states that we love, Michigan and New Mexico. Also, because after 15 years of traveling, we both go stark raving mad ourselves, if we have to stay in the same old boring place more than 2 months at a time, we feel we need 2 places to bounce back between. When the weather is heinous we can pick up from one state and move onto the other.

Sad for the Detroit area, but the housing market is pretty much in the toilet. Good for us that we can pick up a house for a song. We stay around an hour away from Detroit, in lovely suburbs/country settings and that’s where we’ll look for a house. In a year maybe. And then of course we still have our Albuquerque house, which we’ve rented out for 2 years. When we try to sell it, we will most likely have to pay $60,000 just to get out of it. Some fun there, huh? But we won’t have to face that for a bit.

I know this is a really long post. But I haven’t had internet for months, (Which, let me tell you, is no picnic.) and now that I’ll be back to civilization for a long, long time, I’ll be able to update often.

I’m heading to Michigan in 2 hours to see my honey! (We are both counting the minutes.) I’ll be there for 10 days, fly back to Albuquerque where my ticket originates from, see our kids here for 1 day, then shoot to Seattle for 2 weeks to join Jeff again. After that we both fly back to Abq together, Jeff’s first time home in like 6 months. He’ll get to see the kids and we’ll then load up our truck with as much as we can carry and will drive to Michigan to move into the apartment we’ll be wrapping up there in just a few days.

I’m not quite sure what people do when they don’t have multiple places to bounce between like we do. I used to hate it with every fiber of my being. Now I’m not sure how I’d survive without the constant change.


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Give me a little more time. I know it’s been forever. I’m living out at our property without Internet. We waited weeks for a company to come out, they installed and it was perfection. 10 minutes later the tech came back and ripped it all out. The company said the signal wasn’t good enough on their end.

To get Internet we had to get an address. To get an address we had to put in a $3700 septic for our house that won’t be built for 2 years.

We just got our address today. Eeeee!!!

Now we can call another, better Internet company and see if they’ll install Internet for us.

I hate typing with one finger on my iPhone, so blog updates have to wait!

I hope, hope, hope we can get someone out in the next 2 weeks. They say 2 days: translation 2 weeks. We’ve become realists.


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