Yeah. I need a place where I can talk. I have not deleted my new running blog but have made it private and will ignore it for now. When I cannot run, what the heck is there to talk about?
I’m all over the place and am seriously struggling. I hate dealing with my family. They constantly disappoint in a big time way. In staying here in Washington State for 5 weeks, helping Mom out as she goes through cancer treatment and I fear I will go out of my mind.
It was sunny today but it rained all last week-except for the 2 days it snowed-and this next week is going to be rain, rain, rain, every day.
I had started training for a marathon and was doing great. No more. At least not for now. I’m not sure what’s going to happen on that front.
In June I accompanied my Mom to the hospital multiple times, once for a day surgery. It’s most likely that I picked up MRSA at that time. I find out on Monday what the culture reads. I have been pretty sick, off and on since July, with boils popping up here and there in horrible places. I’ve never had a boil in my life. Now I’ve had 7. The pukey stomach and extreme tiredness that comes with it is no picnic and it usually keeps me from doing much of anything. I finally carved time out of the medical schedule to go to the Doctor myself so I’m on antibiotics (which I hate taking) and am hopeful that though the Dr. is pretty sure it’s MRSA, that it will turn out to be NOT.
It’s been so difficult to bounce between not running, not doing anything, and running. I can’t get my legs under me because every time I start to feel great and start running, things go south.
I have one sister who works full time who does everything for Mom when I’m not here (when I’m at home in New Mexico). My other sister lives next door to my Mother, in my Mother’s house, and she won’t lift a finger to help, or to call my Mother or to text her or send her an email. Mom was pretty bad off last week, in the hospital for 4 days. My younger sister and I spent 7 hours in the ER with her and then spent every day and afternoon by her bedside. My other sister AND her family, never helps, doesn’t have a clue if our Mother is still alive. She is no longer my family, that’s how bad it is. It’s been hell. Sheer hell.
In addition to Mom’s medical issues and mine, my Mom is a cook to the nth degree. What I WANT to eat and what I do eat are very different things sometimes. It’s such a struggle and I need some support.