It’s been very good for me to take a break from blogging and I’ll continue to “take a break” until around the first of August, but then I’ll be back and will update about once a week from now on.
Why it’s been so good for me to take a break is that I’ve come to a wonderful place of extreme clarity. I was out shopping for a new pair of jeans because my size 10’s are a little too loose. I tried on size 9’s and found a big range of 9’s and I had “a moment”. It’s always going to be like this, no matter how small I become. No matter how much I lose.
I’m very healthy and strong. Last week? We took a hugely long and hard 10 1/2 mile hike. On 2 other days I hiked 8 miles and ran 4/walked 3. I’ve so fit and happy. A size 9, a size 8, a size 6, is NOT going to do anything different for me. I’m just going to be a smaller Katie.
I’m embracing the fact that I’m HAPPY with where I am. I have arrived at my goal. I’m at 189. Knowing that a particular size runs from small to larger, I’m sticking with a size 10. Some weeks I may be in my looser 10’s and some weeks in my little 10’s but it’s going to be that way no matter what size I’m in. There is NO magical size. I rather love the idea of not being “perfect” and tiny. I’m tall, I’m big and I embrace that. Plus, I can probably walk circles around lots of people, and run circles around lots of people, and that makes me smile.
My “perfect weight” is 185, my range is going to be ANYWHERE in the 180’s.
I changed my calorie/exercise phone app to “Maintenance mode” and my finger was a little shaky when I hit that little button. My calories went from 1789 to 2230 in a snap. Now when I run 500 calories worth, I get that if I wanted to, I could eat more, and if I didn’t, over time, maybe over many weeks, I’d lose a pound or two. Easy. It makes so much sense now. In that moment I kind of went, OH! That’s how it works! So this week I’ve been focusing on eating lots of fruits and veggies and drinking lots of water, but I’ve also enjoyed eating more nuts, I’ve not been afraid to have some chocolate covered almonds or a few slices of pizza with my hubby.
It feels like nothing much has changed, except my angst over weight loss is slipping away. It’s possible that over the next few months I’ll lose a few pounds just through the exercise, while still having my allowed 2300 calories. Dang, that sounds easy. It’s lovely to just relax a bit, but for me that means that if I want another orange or some more brazil nuts, or a salad from McDonald’s, I can get it and still meet my goals for the day.
I will continue to log my calories because it truly works for me. I’m stepping up the running now and am starting to feel so much more relaxed in the running and hiking. I seem to not tire at ALL until I hit the 7 mile mark in a long walk. 3 miles feels like a little stroll now.
I noticed that somehow, my page of weight loss progress pictures has disappeared and all of my old photos are trapped on my old computer, silly me. But I was able to skim them off of the blog by tracking back. I’ll replace the progress photos soon, but wanted to share this one from today.
Will check back in later. I just wanted to share where I am and what’s going on. After losing 94 pounds and going from a size 22 to a 10, I’m ready to say that I’m done. It’s a happy day!