I’m going to have to pinch myself to see if I’m actually dead. OK, not quite. Husband and I each only got about 2 hours of sleep last night and neither of us knows why. I drove him to the airport this morning for 9 days of work in Seattle, then took son to hospital where I used to draw blood from patients (hated that job!) for his blood work, then took him home, then went to Costco.
Then home to put away $200 of groceries. Then a 40 minute run. Then an hour of yoga. And I’m dead. And that brings me to my point.
I really didn’t want to do yoga today because I’m so sleepy. But…I said I’d just start it and do maybe 5 minutes or so.
Then I thought, eh, might as well do the whole hour but just not push it at all. I’m so glad I did, because I was reminded loud and clear that yoga isn’t a competition or a struggle, a place where you push to improve. It’s meant to be RELAXING.
Oh, yeah, time to put my uber-competitive self in the closet and just move through it, resting when I needed to. It was the bomb! Can yoga be “the bomb”? Probably not, but it was so nice and peaceful.
I was going to be tired anyway, you know, so I might as well stretch out and get the oxygen flowing. I’m still so tired that I swear, I’m going to bed at 5:30 tonight, but I learned something.
I learned that I don’t have to be perfect when I do yoga or when I run. I don’t have to “do my best” every time. I just have to show up and move through the motions. Some days will be great, some will stink, but if I just move through it, my body and spirit will thank me. Because when you do those things you know you need to do-that you WANT to do anyway, you build that rock-solid foundation of trust in yourself. I like that feeling. It’s new to me. Personal trust.
I feel very capable right now. I did a sucky job at yoga today, to be sure. But I did it and I didn’t push myself. Now I know that I can just “be”, however I am on that day, I can come to the mat or I can hit the road “as I am” and just focus on that day, that time.
I’m not out to be an Olympian, I only want to be a me that I can be proud of, that I can look up to. I like the idea that I can be proud of me for just putting out the effort with a good attitude, with compassion.
So I won’t forget, I have to remind myself here that tomorrow I want to talk about Costco and the incredible ultra-marathon movie we saw last night. Insane! And sooooooo inspiring.