It snowed this much just since yesterday afternoon. I’m so over winter. SO OVER IT. It’s consistently edging into the upper 50’s in Albuquerque now so I can’t wait to fly back home Friday morning. I’m starting to get heart-sick for the desert. Sigh.
So, guess what? A guy almost 20 years younger than me ,asked me for my number this weekend, after telling me, “I think you’re very beautiful.”
After staring at him, blinking, for about 20 years, my mind spinning, I thought:
1. That was the stupidest pickup line ever. YOU think I’m beautiful and therefore you want to ask me out? What the heck do I care what you think of how I look? I SUIT you? I appeal to your tastes? I seriously wanted to say: I’m FUNNY and I’m smart and I’m capable and I could be your MAMA, you idiot. I really don’t care what you think of how I look. And just to be clear, he was looking at me like I was a piece of meat on a plate and I didn’t like it one little bit.
2. I wondered if he was a serial killer. Seriously. Which makes me wonder if I’m watching too many crime shows. Or if he WAS a serial killer.
3. I wanted to double over in laughter and I knew that would PROBABLY be very rude. I wanted to say, “I’ve been married for 30 years. Are you even 30 years old?”
In the end I just said I was married and he apologized. Which also gave me pause. What was he apologizing for? I know what he meant, but it was all just very weird.
It made me appreciate my husband all the more. When we dated, it was because we were so alike. We made each other laugh. He was kind and sweet and so was I. He didn’t tell me he thought I was pretty for maybe a few days. I think that’s normal-and honest. Of course we got married 7 weeks after we laid eyes on each other, so that part wasn’t exactly normal. I’m just saying,
I’m glad I don’t have to date. It must be a hard gig.