Yeah, no change in my weight. 204, I hate you. 203 and 202, where ARE you? Do you miss me? I really, really, really want to see you again. Take you places. Wine and dine you, but not too much, because I also want to see 199 someday. I hear 199 is covered in diamonds and pearls. Sigh.
So, I didn’t lose, dog-done-it! But hey, I didn’t slit my wrists this week. I think that’s a BIG plus.
What a crappy week. What an a emotional week. And this will go on for several more weeks, until son’s diabetes settles down, and we find out he doesn’t have cancer again. THEN? I’ll feel better.
Till then, I’ll have to just ride this train I’m already on. Stupid train.
So, my trainer, Pamela Hernandez of Thrive Personal Fitness, had something helpful to tell me this week, so I would stop beating my head against the wall. She told me to just focus on getting to 202. JUST to focus on 202. Because that would make me lower than I’ve ever been.
Makes sense. It really does. Of course, to get there, I need to somehow crash through this lame mental block that keeps making me run away from that 202. Makes me SO MAD!
My new thing: if I have to do it one ounce at a time, I’ll get to 202. As God is my witness, I will always be hungry again!…as Scarlett might have said, if she needed to lose a few pounds. Only it doesn’t really work, because I’m not hungry. I’m just not trying super hard to lose those pounds.
Yes, I’m trying. Yes, I’m eating great. Exercising VERY consistently. But that’s the stupid thing about weight loss. You have to be great like EVERY day. 7 days a week. Because that one day you might blow it? You may not gain for the week, but you can, I promise you, spend weeks on end just maintaining.
So this week? I’m going to try to be PERFECT. Don’t even bother trying to tell me you don’t have to be perfect at every meal to lose. I’m in a cranky mood. Later, when I’m losing again, you’ll see. I’ll tell all of YOU that, and will manage to believe it myself. You know, be all self-righteous and all.
I’m think I’m going a little loopy. Is it obvious?