So here’s what I’m doing. I hired Pamela Hernandez of Thrive Personal Fitness to work with me for the next 3 months. I’m really stoked about this decision.
I’ll tell you what’s been going on. I have no support. Pretty much, nada. Other than my husband and my mother, who are proud of me for my increased health and reduced weight, I have no one in my corner and sometimes it’s just plain hard. I have people close to me who, every time they see me they say, “I hate you. You’re so skinny.” I know they’re joking, but it’s all they say to me. Which sucks, let me tell you that right now.
Other than that, I have other people who I’m close to who pointedly avoid making any complimentary comments whatsoever, and I mean ANYthing. They go out of their way to pretend I don’t look any different. They don’t notice I have a new dress. They avoid looking. The sad thing about it is that other on my blog, I never say a word about my weight. I feel really uncomfortable talking about it. I don’t talk about what I don’t eat, or how I’m “so full” after 6 bites of food. You know, THOSE people. I don’t brag, I don’t call attention to myself. I just keep my head down and keep going. And it doesn’t work. It’s as if some people think that I’m going around patting myself on the back all the time so they’re going to “put me in my place”. And yes, it’s people who have weight to lose themselves.
It’s a stupid thing. When we’re overweight, we say those “skinny” people are so full of themselves. When we lose weight, those same people say it about us. And it’s usually not true, it’s just their own frustration speaking. They have to deflect responsibility away from the fact that they have chosen to live in poor health. So I guess that by hating on people who have moved away from poor health and fat… What? What does it do. It’s just lame.
Anyway, I have no one I can talk to, no one to help me out when I’m stuck. But now I have Pamela. She had me fill out a lot of forms and is crafting an exercise plan that works for ME in my situation. She’s also there for support and will keep an eye on my eating. I feel like someone’s there to guide me now and I’ve never, ever had that before. The best thing is that it’s just $150 for the full 3 months of support and by coincidence, I’ve set aside this next 3 months to really work HARD at getting into the 190’s and NOW I truly believe I can do it.
Just by making the move to start with Thrive Personal Fitness, I’m watching my calories like a hawk, working to make great choices all the time (I haven’t done that in months!) and am excited when I can slip in more exercise. (By the way, Pamela has some great videos you can watch on her site. I think they’re informative and encouraging. And note how amazing her skin is. It’s so creamy, it’s to die for! How does she get skin like that??)
I feel really hopeful. Sometimes, I think we just need some help, you know?
*Exercise: Walked 7 and 1/3 miles today then in an additional mile I started running again today! I ran 1 minute, walked to recover (wasn’t breathing hard at all but I wanted to take it easy.) I did this for the whole mile. Total of 8 1/2 miles for the day. Yay!