Ok, let’s get right to it. Who’s a brave girl now? Me, that’s who! I….dare I say it….I have NO scale with me here in Michigan.
I know. I know. Please, keep the applause down, my terror might hear you.
I DELIBERATELY left my perfect little scale behind in Albuquerque. Like, ON PURPOSE. Wait, I have to catch my breath.
I am out to “outsmart” myself.
I just know that my head is getting in the way of my losing at LEAST ten (20+) more pounds. So I’ve decided to trick myself into moving down into different numbers by not looking at what I weigh for 3 weeks.
Am I nervous? Am I scared? Oh, you bet your bottom dollar!
Here’s what I’m learning. I can tell by how my clothes are fitting if I’ve gained 2-3 pounds. I don’t feel that I have, so things seem to be OK so far. I’m making choices based on facts, not on what the scale is saying: i.e. “I can totally eat that piece of pie because my weight is down!” (So, hey, you can see why I can’t get any lower on the scale.)
No, now I’ve had to step back and be careful. I’m eating much better, back to my staples of fruits and veggies, whole grains, with some junk and eating out thrown in. I’m drinking a lot more water, and I started logging my calories again at Biggest Loser Club. So, I feel I’m doing very well. And best of all? I feel “whole” and sort of overall good about myself.
Confession: If I’m SOOO thirsty at night, I know it’s because I’ve eaten something salty and if I drink a big old glass of water like I want to, it’ll show up as POUNDS in the morning. So I don’t drink. Which is so stupid!
Now when I’m thirsty? I drink like a camel. Wake up with a puffy blow-fish style face, but hey, I can’t weigh myself, so what do I know from fat or thin? The thing my body needs is to flush the salt out. My ego? Doesn’t want to see those “pounds”. So, you can see, I have a ways to go in gaining maturity about all of this weight loss stuff.
I really sort of like, LIKING myself all day long, not based on what the scale says.
Do I expect to go back home to NM after the 10th and see a weight loss? Honestly, no, I don’t. I just don’t want to see a gain. What I want to see is to at least stay the same and to feel good about myself. I truly want to break that slavish devotion to the scale.
My overall plan? Keep working the good habits, keep walking, keep working my way toward the first of the year, just like I did last year….when I do plan to start losing again. I’m planning to succeed and am paving the way. But, I’m not going to push and work overly hard. My goal is to live well and be healthy. In the end, if I have to change a ton of stuff to lose more, I probably won’t. I may just settle and be happy with a 79 pound loss. But, I can’t know if I don’t try. I think a large part of being healthy is to separate from the scale. If I can get to the point where I only weigh when I get to go home to New Mexico, about every 3 weeks or so, and can maintain or even lose some? I’ll be a truly happy gal.
In other news, I’ll be submitting my inspirational (christian) novel to a wonderful agent I really want to represent me, sometime next week. I hope to get her as an agent because she’s one of the best and she’s a great person too. So hey, that would be lovely. If you’re wanting to keep up with me in the writing world, make sure you visit my writing blog!