I took this shot in Madras, NM. We’re in Michigan right now, but I like the picture, so it’s going to be the post picture today!
It’s so strange to be back in Michigan, with all of our wonderful friends, after being gone for 7 months. 7 months ago, I weighed almost 300 pounds. Now? 207 and falling. It truly is a whole new world!
I’ve found myself to be weirdly, strangely, happy the past few days and I finally get why that is. We’ve been coming to Michigan on business for 10-15 years or so and I’ve always done it as a really fat woman. Everything changes when you’re slender and I do mean EVERYTHING.
Before, when we’d go somewhere, I was so self-conscious and angry because I wanted to blame someone for my discomfort, so, of course, I’d look for piddly details to blame. So sad. Now, we get an invitation to go do something fun and my first thoughts aren’t: Oh no! Why?!?! What will I wear? How will I handle it? Where will we be? Where will I sit? (How awful.) Now my first thoughts are: YAY! Let’s go!!
Seriously. We’ve already got like 4 events lined up and I’m excited about all of them. I haven’t thought of a single negative thing. I stand there and chat with friends and am so relaxed and happy. I now have space in my head to make it be all about THEM.
Being overweight, you become incredibly selfish and you don’t even realize it. You think you aren’t. Everyone does. But when your mind is always swirling about you, you, you, there is not space for others. When you can let that go, the world becomes a wonderful place.
We’re going to a pool party on Saturday! You know what I thought about that? I thought…I’m SO GLAD I brought my new bathing suit! Seriously, who am I? This is just so much fun.
This trip, my first one back here as a thinner person, points out in huge flaming arrows, in gigantic neon signs, the value of good health and eating well. It’s life changing, quite literally!
Now, on to my new favorite foods.
I will always, always LOVE food. Love it! I’ve noticed though that now I love excellent, healthy food, as passionately as I did fatty, salty food before.
Speaking of fatty and salty food. We went on vacation for 3 days last week. I ate really well for breakfast and lunch and then ate a restaurant dinner each night for 3 nights. I gained SIX POUNDS! Yes, I freaked out. Then I thought you know what? Be at peace with this. This is life! This will continue.
All of that salty fatty food made me puff up like a blow fish. But…2 days later it was gone and I’m slowly losing again. VERY SLOWLY. My goal is just 3 pounds this whole month, and that’s ok.
I’m realizing what “the long haul” looks like now and it doesn’t freak me out. Some months I’ll barely work out, maybe 2 times a week, the next month, every single day! Some weeks I’m hungry and I eat all the time and don’t lose, some weeks, food holds no interest for me. It’s hot and I don’t want to eat so I have to force myself. It’s all a balance. The only thing it requires it diligent attention and truth-telling. No lies! That’s what I find to be key. I have to be fully present and aware, and approach each day with a solid intention of being healthy. It’s not going to kill me to eat a small bag of snacks every once in awhile, but it WILL kill me if I do it every day. That sort of thing.
Ok, back to favorite foods:
1. I adore my vegetable sandwiches!! 2 pieces of wheat bread 70 calories each, golden brown mustard, dill pickles, raw onion and thick slices of tomato. YUM. Each sandwich is only about 200 calories. I have them for breakfast sometimes, often for snacks, lately, ALWAYS for lunch. If my option is a tiny bags of chips for 160 calories, or a hefty sandwich that leaves me full for 4 hours, I’ll choose the sandwich every time!
2. I love oatmeal raw, uncooked, so much! I take 1/2 cup old fashioned oatmeal (1 cup when I really want to EAT but that’s a lot of oats so it’s rare.) and add 1 t. pecans, 1 t. raisins and 1/2 t. plain white sugar (I never use chemical sweeteners anymore.) and add 1/2 cup soy milk. It’s so good. I like it a lot more than cooked oatmeal because there’s a “chew factor”. I think it tastes better raw.
3. Frozen grapes. Rinse, let dry and place on a cookie sheet in the freezer. Once frozen, put them in a container or a freezer bag. A few grapes will keep you busy for a lonnnng time.
4. Un-shelled sunflower seeds in a variety of flavors. I love these! It seems as if they’re making them less salty now, which is such a good thing. They used to burn my tongue off, now, not so much. I have 1/4 cup of them every couple of days while I’m writing. It’s a snack that keeps on giving for like an hour!
5. Iced tea, hot tea with a 1/2 t. of creamer and 1/2 t. of sugar. I’ve given up hot coffee completely, which sort of stuns me. I just don’t like the taste anymore. I still have an iced latte with soy milk once a week at Starbucks, but other than that, it’s tea for me.
While I still eat vegan about 98% of the time, I have beef or chicken now, maybe once a month. I don’t use any dairy or eggs. If we’re out at a friend’s house, I eat what they serve and I don’t make a big deal about it…AND I enjoy it! I recently re-discovered fake crab meat made of soy product and I love it like CRAZY. In a sandwich, a salad, a taco…it’s great.
Ok, I’m all caught up now. I’ve been offline for several days, vacationing and also traveling. I’m up to date now and all is right in the world. 4 more pounds to 80 pounds lost. Woo hoo! My goal while here in Michigan is to lose enough so that I can leave behind ONE of my three pairs of size 14’s. Two of them fit nicely (used to be quite tight) and one is getting so loose as to be clown-like. My goal is to be able to leave that pair behind! It’s going to be awhile before I get into a size 12, probably not till the end of summer. That’s ok by me!