I was heating up a cup of coffee yesterday and I thought, wow, this pair of size 16 pants is way too big, I’m going to have to retire them and stick with my smaller pair of 16’s for awhile. I looked down and no, I was in the smaller pair. I’ve only lost a few pounds this past 2 weeks but at this point, every pound seems to be making a difference.
I went to the store yesterday and bought a pair of size 14 Capri jeans that I won’t be ready for until I lost at least 10-15 pounds, but I wanted them so I’d have something to dream about. I tried on 2 pair, different styles and manufacturers, I was able to zip right into them! No, I don’t wear a 14 yet, but I was really surprised that they weren’t like 2″ from closing. As usual, the problem is that my fat blubs out over the top. But now I know what I’ve got to work on and I can see that I’m getting close and that means a whole lot to me.
This week has been hard for me because I was getting a little bummed at the clothes I’ve been wearing. My tops and my nightgown were several sizes too big and I was feeling just ick. I know that I should “get” this at this point, but I didn’t. Yesterday I retired all of those clothes and bought several nice tops in a more suitable size and a cute nightie that actually fits. Now? I feel normal and I feel pretty. Wearing clothes that fit make a huge difference in your confidence levels.
One thing I haven’t talked about much is how frustrating it is to keep moving from size to size. It’s really been bugging me. I feel like I’ve reached a great place now because I’m approximately 10+ pounds from being a 14 and since I plan on sticking at a size 12, anything I bought this week or from now on, I should be able to wear from now on. For some reason, this means a great deal to me. All I want to do at this point is just “arrive”, and for somewhat strange reasons. I would have thought I wanted to get to goal weight so I’d be at goal weight! But now, I really now want to be at goal weight because I just want to go about life without having weight loss and size changes be the center of my universe.
I’m really looking forward to being about to buy a nice wardrobe and building on it. I’m ready to be at that place where life just “is” an it’s not about change.
I realize that I have 43 more pounds to go, but in doing math the way I do weight loss math, I see that it’s not all that much. Once I’ve dropped another 15 or so, I’ll be at that place were I can wear a size medium in just about everything. After that, the last chunk of weight is really going to be about refining it all. This last 43 pounds isn’t going to be about drastic changes, it’s just going to be a little here and a little there, overall. I’m ready for that to happen.