I started off the week with a bang, right away losing 2 pounds…by Tuesday! Odd, I know, but good! Then Wednesday I woke up to more rain, gray skies and a puffy face and almost FOUR extra pounds. This is not good. Understatement of the month.
I spent Wednesday and Thursday drinking tons-0-water and watching what I was eating salt-wise. I think I 0D’d on salt on Tuesday when I made hummus that turned out a little bit salty and then ate it with chips I’d made that were a little salty. Too much salt!
It took until today for those extra pounds to finally leech away and let me tell you, this was not fun. When you’re into the weight loss gig for the long haul, your mind starts to play tricks on you, bad, sneaky tricks. Thoughts start running around in your head: “Maybe I can’t do this anymore! Maybe this is it. What if I never lose another pound?” Sucks, I tells you, sucks big time.
I had to keep telling myself, “Self, this is science. Calories in, calories out. Exercise and good food is what it’s all about. It’s not about FEELINGS, it’s about science.” I finally figured, long about Friday morning, that it’s probably not conceivable that my weight loss would just stop altogether with me still at 233 pounds.
I know, lame that my mind would think that, but still. The mind is a panic-y jerk sometimes. I had to think hard to remember my “mantra”…that I would do the right thing no matter what: I’d eat well and exercise daily and let my body do what it was going to do. Perhaps it needed to adjust, maybe it was freaked out, maybe it was playing coy with the poundage, I don’t know.
Sometimes I feel like I’m on a roller coaster with the weight loss and I don’t like roller coasters. A week, one SINGLE week can sometimes feel absolutely endless in light of the many things that go on during a week of acting all fit and active-like: high highs and lowest of lows, all in the same week. Ultimately though, I guess you have to just dig in and remind yourself that you’re in it for the long haul and the “long haul” is for the rest of your life. Hopefully that’s a long, long time.
At one point in my long life, I was taking some classes on Life Coaching and one of the things that stood out the most for me was the concept that as you grow as a person, the ideal emotional balance you should seek is to stay on an even keel. At first that was just ridiculous to me. “Pffft”, said I. I pretty much lived life in the completely opposite direction emotionally…mostly HIGHEST of highs with some lows and I am here to tell you that it can be exhausting and a waste of energy.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that the idea of living on an even keel was actually quite appealing. The Life Coaching advice stated that whether things were incredibly good or incredibly bad, the goal was to come to acceptance quickly and easily with little reaction emotionally either way. That may sound as freaky to you as it did to me at one time, but think on it for a few days before you decide. For me, I’ve come to think of it as a sort of “inner peace”, a solid place inside yourself that you get to where you can just ACCEPT what’s on your plate. I forget that sometimes. My goal for the next month is to remember that.
I want to continue doing the work I’m doing in my diet and with my exercise, but I really want to accept, more easily, the outcome of that work. To not accept the outcome is sort of like trying to push against time, to physically try to PUSH it to where I want it to be. Impossible. I can’t push next week into existence no matter how hard I will it and I can’t push a ten pound loss into place no matter how much I want it.
Tweaking what you’re doing is fine: Have I cut down on my exercise lately? Am I eating 200 more calories a day than I’m acknowledging? Tweaking is good. Have a look at where you are this week and if things are fine, you have to have some trust in the process and withdraw emotionally. Let be what is going to be and LIVE a good, healthy life. It’s all we can do. While we wait.