I can barely move my arms. I walked my 72 minutes this morning but am starting to feel it’s not nearly as hard as it was when I first started, over 3 weeks ago. So, after I finished painting today, I whipped out my “Biggest Loser, Weight Loss Yoga” dvd, thinking, ok, I’ll do the warmup part, the beginner part, and what the heck, the intermediate part, then a cool down. Then I thought…hmm…maybe NOT do the intermediate part so it’ll still be pretty easy.
Well folks, apparently, all I have been doing in the past, yoga-wise, was pitifully easy yoga because this? This kicked my butt.
I am so very, very worn out. 35 minutes of sweating. I’m not a huge fan of sweating. I had a moment (let’s not lie, 65,000 moments) when I thought, you know what, this isn’t for me, maybe I’ll do something else, just keep things moderately paced.
Then I thought, if I don’t do this, if I can’t push myself to do this until it gets easier, then I will be making the decision to allow myself to be limited in the things I want to do for fun. If I won’t do anything that’s “too hard”,I’ll miss out on so much of life!
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not happy…I don’t think I’m even all that proud at the moment because I’m so worn out. I can see that my whole physical life is built around, “I’ll do if it it’s not too hard.” I really want to be as fit as possible for my 50 years. The harder I work, the more my day to day life won’t be as challenging. I NEED to do this.
I have however, given up any idea of doing this class 3 or 4 times a week on top of my walking. Honestly, it scares me to death to even THINK of doing it again. I realize I’m complaining and being whiney. I don’t think I realized until just now, how little I have expected of myself all of these years, and how little I believe I can achieve in physical fitness. I can’t let that happen.
I will do this class again on Friday. Oye to the Vey! I want to use the backspace button and wipe that out. But I will. I’ll do it on Tuesdays and Fridays for the first maybe, 4 weeks, so I can get my strength built up. I won’t even touch my other yoga dvd because it might be a lot easier and I know me, I’ll find an excuse for why I should do that one instead of this one. I know that in sticking with it, I’ll see an improvement in my ability to do it without feeling like my arms are going to fall off. And so I will press on. Ugh.