To lose: 104 Lost: 11
Let me introduce myself. I’m Katie, I’m a full time writer of inspirational fiction/artist from New Mexico and when I started, 3 weeks ago, I had 115 pounds to lose. You can find my art blog here and my writing blog here. While I’m not willing or ready to post a link from those blogs to this one, I am willing to post from this one to that one so you can find out a little bit about who I am.
I tried to keep journals for about 10 years but always was so afraid someone would pick it up and read what I’d written, never mind that my husband would rather die than to do something so mean and dumb. I just couldn’t do it.
Finally, last year, I started. I just did it. I say the most awful things in my journals sometimes. I tell my husband that when I die someday and he reads them, know that I don’t mean half of what I say! Or, I do, but only for the moment. I suppose that this blog can be like my journals, a place to get it out and then to rededicate myself to the journey.
Starting weight on Dec 28: 283
Total to lose: 115 pounds
To lose: 103 Lost: 12
I deleted the first two weeks and went away. Why? I love blogging, love writing, writing helps me work things out in my head. Therein lies the reason. I keep a journal and I was finding that I was writing things here instead of in my journal, which for some reason really seemed to be a not happy thing. Finally, it occurred to me…you can do both, knucklehead. I can always cut and paste from my blog in a years time and fill another journal with my thoughts here. I don’t know why that seemed to matter so much, but it did.
Also, at the time, just starting, I think, no, I KNOW that I felt like I didn’t have anything together, I knew nothing, I’d done nothing. Now, 3 weeks in, I know I’m on track, I know I’m doing it and I know where I’m going. I guess I feel safe to commit myself now.
10 years ago I lost 125 pounds and became a runner, a dedicated runner, running 5-7 miles 5 or 6 days a week. I ran for 4 years total, but after just the first year started gaining back at the rate of about 15 pounds per year until at last, I stopped running and put back on almost all the weight. Still, I KNEW that I had learned some great lessons because:
A. It took a long time for me to gain the weight back
B. So many lessons stuck. I almost never get fast food. Maybe on vacation one or two times per year and then it’s a salad. I just stopped with the fast food. So yes, I screwed up in tons of things or I wouldn’t have gained the weight back, but I gave up entirely, my sugar addiction and my fast food addiction.
And so I KNEW I could do it again and this time keep the weight off. Because:
A. I’m older and wiser and more patient with myself
B. I’m more willing to do the work and to give up the things I need to
I spent the past 2 months slowly starting to make changes, learning to eat less at each meal, a trip in itself. I discovered that there are great books out there written by people who had lost 100 or 200 pounds by eating healthy and exercising and they weren’t selling a product!
I bought about 6 wonderful books that have been such an encouragement to me.
I’m reading them one by one. The first, Diet Girl, by Shauna Reid who lost 175 pounds over something like 6 or 7 years, is just amazing. Never before have I read a book about someone’s weight loss journal who is not trying to push some diet down my throat (all of these books are such books!). The Amazing Adventures of diet girl is about a woman who tried and failed and tried and failed and did well and stumbled and never, ever gave up. Her book is a REAL snapshot into the true life and feelings of someone who has a lot of weight to lose, it’s also funny and encouraging as all get out. It’s hilarious in fact. I found myself laughing out loud at times.
Shauna has a blog that she’s kept for 9 years now. Today, it’s a blog about how she maintains her healthy weight and fitness levels. She also has a website, along with Carla Birnburg (aks Mizfit-which I still have to check out,) called, “Two Fit Chicks” which has awesome podcasts that I listen to while I paint.
Lastly, and most important, I discovered that exercise is not only unavoidable, it’s a complete necessity to losing weight and keeping it off. I started, so reluctantly, 3 weeks ago, panting as I walked for 10 minutes in the New Mexico desert, holding the railing on our stairs as I hauled myself up the stairs to the top floor, dragging myself, one step at a time.
Three weeks later, I GET IT. Exercise is living! Do exercise enables you to hike, walk, do all of those things that make life great. And me? I love activity. You’d never know it since I’ve spent the past 6 years or so carefully doing nothing. But I do love it so. I just didn’t think I could do it again. I’m 50. I have some challenges that keep me from being too physical when I’m not feeling well, but I decided not to focus on that anymore and rather, to focus on what I could do and to work around those issues. It has been remarkable what I find that I CAN do.
I’ll write more tomorrow but right now I’m heading out to take my daily 1:15 minute walk in the desert. Wow! I’m so happy with that progress. Every day I can’t wait to get outside and move and walk in the sand and stare at the Sandia Mountains and feel the sun on my face. It’s January so the temps are in the low 50’s but it’s heaven out there an it’s ME out there walking. I’m so proud of myself!